"Fish on!" What I hope to be shouting several times over the next 3 days.

Summer is in high gear in Alaska.  Earlier today I told a friend that it is almost stressful all the activities we, as Alaskans, try to cram in in just a few months time.  As for us, we just returned from Kodiak on Sunday, and now we are off to Homer for 3 days in the morning.  Sam wants to camp on the Spit and since I have a 3 day weekend, it is the perfect time.  Hopefully the weather cooperates and the fish are in.  So far fishing on the Kenai Peninsula is not all that good, and since we have had rain the past few days, maybe the darn fish will finally start coming in. For Sam's sake, I hope the fish are in and are biting!  We get a little competitive when it comes to fishing (if you can believe it!), so of course, I plan on pulling in the first and the biggest.

Lights of Homer Spit from the ferry at 1:00 in the morning.

As this is the week before Sam's chemo is to begin, he spent the week getting his meds in order and confirming insurance information.  Tonight he gave me a rundown on how the doctor and he decided to increase one of his painkillers (the long-acting) while decreasing another (the "break-through.")  I admit, my knowledge of painkillers increased tenfold over the past 3 years.  As he talked, the lightbulb went on and I realized why his mood had been so nasty the past few days. It would almost be funny if it weren't so sad. I admit I did not handle the mood swing very well at all which did not help the situation.  Luckily, as of last night, he is back on an even keel.  He is not in the least bit aware of what any change in meds does to his mood.

Wednesday, June 13, Sam begins his chemo treatment.  Although he does not seem to think his reaction will be any different than it was in the fall, I am fully prepared for it to be since other things are scheduled to be included this go round.  The 48 hour mark occurs while I am at work Friday morning and that is usually the worst time, when the chemo hits the cancer cells and the body is basically at war with itself.  The joys of the roller coaster of cancer!

Tomorrow, Friday, June 8, is Cook Inlet Region's (CIRI) 40th birthday, which is why it is a 3 day weekend for me.  Nothing like an unexpected holiday! Work is very busy and during the summer, work increases dramatically.  Tuesday and Wednesday I spent up in the Matsu dealing with trespass issues and checking out some of our lands which I had not visited previously.  Tuesday proved to be an absolutely beautiful day, and Wednesday, just the opposite.  It felt good to be able to work outside for a couple days, made the work week go by much faster and the surprise holiday makes it even better.  I love my job.

Ciao!

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. -Erma Bombeck

Mt. Augustine at sunset.

Home after a long weekend away.  Sam and I had a great time in Homer, and the weather could not have been better.  Well, maybe a few degrees would have been good, but nonetheless, we had a terrific time.  There is not one place we have been to in Alaska which we have not liked, and Homer is definitely one of our "more" favorites.  The scenery is simply amazing.
The state of Alaska has three different programs in which you can purchase land from the state.  Currently, two of those programs are in process.  The first is the land sales auction in which specific areas of land are put up for sale and you can bid on those properties.  As in regular auctions, the sale goes to the highest bidder.  In the second program, the state lists various parcels of land which have not yet been surveyed.  Residents can then stake land within those parcels for a recreational use cabin.  The resident will then lease the land for a period of time and then purchase at the fair market value once the survey and appraisal have been completed.  Since the day we decided to move to Alaska, Sam has wanted to participate in one of these programs and build that cabin every guy dreams of in some remote spot off the grid.  Up until Sam's diagnosis, I was fairly supportive of this (although...I did have my qualms about a few things, such as walking in 11 miles to some remote spot that may or may not have any dry land to speak of...) Anyway, Sam is back to having a strong desire to do this.  Hence our discussion, especially since some of these lands are in the Homer, southern Kenai Peninsula area.  We discussed it indepth several times throughout the weekend and Sam was never able to get me to agree to it for several reasons, and they all relate to his health.  For example, if we purchase or bid or stake out the land right now, it will take at least one summer, if not two, to clear the land for at least some type of foundation.  Sam's physical health does not allow him to put forth as much strength as he used to.  I would not be able to help because I would be working, meaning either he is out there alone (!!!) or some buddy of his is out there with him (!!!!!!!)  It would involve digging post holes many feet down, pouring concrete into the post holes or pad, and all this after he, or they, have cleared away all the trees, brush, whathaveyou.  By the time this is completed, a few years from now, Sam's health is probably going to have deteriorated much more, or he might not even be here.  Which, if you know where I am headed, means I now have another piece of property I am probably never going to go to (we already have one in New Mexico) yet I will not want to give it up because it is part of Sam's dream.  We had a few miles of total silence in the truck since we were having the final discussion as we were headed home.  Me trying to figure out how to compromise and Sam trying to work through all his emotions.  Finally, he broke the silence by telling me he understood where I was coming from and what I was saying.  It was very difficult for both of us at that point, needless to say.  Plus, I do not want to discourage him from pursuing a goal.  However, this is one goal which for right now, just does not make sense in any manner whatsoever. I felt very sad at that point, and still do, and hope we can figure out a way to have that cabin or yurt or whatever out in the middle of nowhere while Sam is still around to enjoy it. Only thing is, we are going to have to win the lottery soon in order to make it happen.

I am very grateful he wants to get out and do things.

Sam's health seems to be doing pretty good right now, although he did admit to me over the weekend that for some reason his hips/pelvic area seem to constantly be cold. We wondered if it was nerve related or circulation related so we walked a lot trying to get his body going again. He has not said one way or the other about how he is feeling now, although he has on several layers of clothes, so I am thinking he is still cold.  In addition, the rash from the Tarceva is all over his chest and back.  It is probably the worst I have ever seen it.  We are grateful for the rash, as it means the Tarceva is working, however, it certainly is uncomfortable for Sam.  He tries not to scratch it, but I catch him doing it all the time.

As for me, I spent the day at the FERC scoping meeting for the Susitna-Watana Hydropower Project (another word for "dam").  It was a project started and stopped in the 80s and now the current governor has renewed it. Part of my job is staying informed on projects like this, especially since the land the dam and reservoir will be on belong mostly to my company and its village corporations.

All in all, things are going well!

Ciao.

Finding the right work is like discovering your own soul in the world. Thomas Moore

Blizzard warning!  No kidding, at least south of here.  Thank goodness for my girlfriend keeping an eye on the weather for us or we would be right in the middle of it headed to Homer.  Now, we are playing it safe and hoping to go in the morning.

Layla, one of our newest office puppies.  She is just a bundle of fur!

Sam's appointment with the oncologist went well today.  The nurse noticed right away he has lost weight and yes, he has.  I am hoping it is because we have cut out most sugars from our diet and no other reason.  He is looking good!  He is probably going back to the Zometa for his bone metastases, mostly due to insurance reasons, but also because there have been some recent studies showing that Xgeva is not as successful as Zometa.  Question is, how exactly is "success" defined?  In Sam's case, it is probably defined as still being able to walk and no broken bones, and I am sure that is what the doctor is thinking, too.  He questioned Sam about how his legs are working and if he is experiencing any weakness.  The doctor also told him to stay active.  That is probably the word which needs to be defined...active...

As for me, I just finished the first official week after a promotion to my new position as Land Manager.      Basically a land use planner with a different title and I am thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. Life is definitely much easier to handle when your home and work lives are in good spots at the same time.

Since we are going to be out of town for three days, I will not be updating until we return.  In the meantime, enjoy your spring!

Ciao!

"The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life." ~Brian Tracy~

Another bright and sunny day in Anchorage but where's the warmth that is supposed to go with the sunshine?

Sam spent a couple hours at the shelter today and I am sure the dogs loved walking outside with him. Or maybe he loved walking outside with each of them more.  Who knows?  He is always in a great mood in the evenings when he's had his dog therapy.

Yesterday I noted Sam searched for a place to purchase some new glasses; however, I did not mention the reason why.  The other morning he told me his vision is getting a little bit fuzzy and he is needing to wear his glasses all the time. When he told me this, that little voice of panic inside me started trying to decide if this is due to age or to other possibilities, including the cancer's arrival in his brain. I do believe it is that good ol' aging factor, but that other possibility hangs in there and probably always will until the end. Since the cancer has spread to pretty much everywhere else in his body, the odds are good it will one day spread to his brain. I have to admit that thought lives with me day in and day out. I just try not to focus too much on it because it does not do either one of us any good if I do.

Hiking Flattop for the first time.  May 2008

Tomorrow he sees Dr. Rabinowitz ( www.alaskaoncology.com). Sam always has interesting tidbits to tell after he sees the doctor, but it usually takes a couple days for me to get it all out of him.  I am not sure why, but perhaps it's because Sam has to wrap his mind around it all first and then filter it before he tells me.  Who knows...all I know is that it drives me crazy because I want to know now!  I always get a little anxious before each appointment because we do not know what the doctor is going to say.  On the other hand, he has already told us there is really nothing more that can be done at this point unless a clinical trial becomes available.  So Sam just continues taking the Tarceva in hopes that it is doing something.  Even if it is not, I think it is another of those mind over matter situations.

We are headed to Homer for the weekend as I have Monday off in honor of Seward's Day.  One of our favorite places to visit.  Last weekend was the first fishing derby of the season.  We were hoping it was this weekend because we are ready to fish.  Last year we had way too much fun and plan on having even more this year.  I can't wait!

Now I am getting all excited and won't be able to go to sleep thinking about fishing.  How crazy is that?

If only it would warm up a bit.

Ciao!