A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. ~ Ayn Rand

Three more weeks until the 2012 Alaska Clean Air Bike Challenge and yes, I am still riding in it, and yes, I am training. In fact, between riding to my office and a few other places in addition to riding on the Glenn Highway bike path, Sunday I rode about 20 miles.  Slowly but surely I am getting ready for my 120 mile ride.

Sam had his Zometa transfusion last week for the bone mets.  He was doing Xgeva, but for some reason which I have yet to figure out, he has gone back to Zometa which is what he was on originally.  His appointment with Dr. Rabinowitz is Wednesday.  Hopefully Sam will remember to tell the doctor everything, including the fact his legs tend to stay very cold.  There are several possibilities for this occurrence, mainly the mets to his lower spine, hips and pelvic areas.  So once again, we shall see.  His mood, though, is terrific and I could not ask for more.

Last Friday we drove to Lake Louise and spent the night.  Saturday we drove along the Copper River and then drove to Nabesna in the Wrangell-St. Elias National Park.  The drive was beautiful even though about 10 miles from the end, I was just a tad bit stressed out as I was driving through mud, melting snow, streams, and eventually just plain snow!  Sam drove the last mile or so into Nabesna which is all of a few houses, a runway and a true Alaskan lodge.  Here's a link to a short blurb on the road:  http://www.nps.gov/wrst/planyourvisit/the-nabesna-road.htm.  Caribou were crossing the road the first 10-15 miles or so, we saw close to 100.  It was amazing.  We did take pictures, just have yet to download them.  Before arriving home, we stopped off at a car wash because that was the most 4-wheeling we had done in ages.  Sam was very proud of how dirty I had gotten the truck!

Ciao!

 

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. Steven Wright

A very fine line, if I do say so myself.  What an incredible weekend!  First Anchorage broke the all time record for snow.  I hit the "refresh" button on the NOAA website continually for 2 solid hours, I think, even though it stated clearly in black and white that the next update would be at 4pm.  However, there was another note which added "unless the record is broken before."  Well, the record was broken long before, but there was no update until 4:00.  No matter what, it was, and is, exciting and thankfully over. Now for the snow to melt and be gone.  This in-between stuff drives me bananas.  Sam and I worked on my bike, too, getting some "stuff" to make it better on top of the gear I picked up at REI with one of my team members, Violet, on Friday.  We are going to look good, if nothing else!

Sunday was beautiful and you will never guess what we did!  Our vacuum decided to take a break, so we ended up devoting a large portion of the day competing with each other in our attempts to make the darn thing work again.  Finally, we managed to combine our efforts and get it up and running, much to the chagrin of Rocky & Sweet Pea who run the second the closet door is opened because they are just certain the big green monster that lives in there is going to come out and get them!

In addition to all that fun and excitement, Sam took the opportunity on Sunday to inform me of another interesting thing which is happening to him. He told me that he experiences a pain "of sorts" in his left pelvic/thigh region.  Not quite sure what "of sorts" means, but it must be annoying enough for him to bring my attention to it.  He did call his doctor this morning and told his office about the nausea and everything else. They have put him on an anti-nausea pill for now.  Next week is his Xgeva treatment for the bone mets and an appointment with Dr. Rabinowitz, so we will know more at that time.

It has been several months since any change in Sam's cancer has occurred, so these new issues do not come as a surprise.  We just hoped it would be later rather than sooner before anything else changed.  Sam seems to think it is possible the doctor will suggest another Alimta (chemo) treatment.  Sam did 6 treatments last fall, 1x every 3 weeks for 6 treatments.  It wore him out and I do not know if Sam is really interested in doing that again.  We shall see.

Thank you again to all who have contributed to the Clean Air Challenge. I am really started to look forward to it.

Ciao!

Finding the right work is like discovering your own soul in the world. Thomas Moore

Blizzard warning!  No kidding, at least south of here.  Thank goodness for my girlfriend keeping an eye on the weather for us or we would be right in the middle of it headed to Homer.  Now, we are playing it safe and hoping to go in the morning.

Layla, one of our newest office puppies.  She is just a bundle of fur!

Sam's appointment with the oncologist went well today.  The nurse noticed right away he has lost weight and yes, he has.  I am hoping it is because we have cut out most sugars from our diet and no other reason.  He is looking good!  He is probably going back to the Zometa for his bone metastases, mostly due to insurance reasons, but also because there have been some recent studies showing that Xgeva is not as successful as Zometa.  Question is, how exactly is "success" defined?  In Sam's case, it is probably defined as still being able to walk and no broken bones, and I am sure that is what the doctor is thinking, too.  He questioned Sam about how his legs are working and if he is experiencing any weakness.  The doctor also told him to stay active.  That is probably the word which needs to be defined...active...

As for me, I just finished the first official week after a promotion to my new position as Land Manager.      Basically a land use planner with a different title and I am thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. Life is definitely much easier to handle when your home and work lives are in good spots at the same time.

Since we are going to be out of town for three days, I will not be updating until we return.  In the meantime, enjoy your spring!

Ciao!

Being thrown into the fire and getting the thing turned around in a hurry made it more difficult. Things have been done the hard way. I think you learn better when things are done the hard way. John Elway

What a wild and crazy week for my Broncos!  Peyton. Tebow.  Peyton. Tebow. Forget them, I am still mad that Jake Plummer got cut, but I love my Broncos no matter what.  Why in the world the Broncos even drafted Tebow is simply beyond me.  The only reason I can think of is that they truly believe another team would offer to trade up for him before the draft even ended.  It did not happen.  So then they were shocked when they actually had to put him in the lineup and even more shocked when the Broncos won games with him at quarterback.  Notice I did not give Tebow credit for those team wins.  As to Peyton, let's just hope he passes his physical.  If he does, we are good to go, if he doesn't, he should have retired this last year and gone out on top like Elway did. Hopefully this is not another hard lesson to learn.  Give Brady Quinn a chance.  Then again, look how well Kubiak did for himself as backup for Elway.  I have seriously digressed from the purpose of this blog, haven't I?  Moving on...


Sam's blood tests came back with great results.  His hemoglobin is at 14.3, highest the nurse has seen in a long time apparently.  He was really concerned that they were not going to be good and that he would not be able to get his Xgeva injection today.  The injection went well, needless to say.


Instead of going to the shelter, he decided to go downtown and vote early.  We have municipal elections on April 4 and early voting started this past Monday. He completed his civil duty and went in search of somewhere to get new glasses.  Not finding any place which met his criteria (good cheap and fast) he came home, took a nap and had dinner ready for me when I got home.  How great is that?!

Hiking in Seward a few weeks ago.

Oh yeah, he did deal with some more medical bills today.  Work he had done in August and we are just now getting billed for. Drives me nuts.  It is exhausting and extremely frustrating tracking things, making sure things are billed correctly, and then figuring out how we are going to pay the bills. In Anchorage it seems there is one major medical billing company because we deal with them on at least 5 different doctors/clinics/hospitals.  One day I was told that I must contact them before anyone else when Sam passes away.  Now how stupid do they think I am?  I almost started laughing because they will be the last place contacted and since Sam will have no estate for them to continue billing... C'est la vie!  Ok, I guess that was a little bit bitter.


Sam is feeling better today and we both think he has been dehydrated the past few days which added to his issues.  He drank a lot of 7up last night which seemed to really help (mind over matter?) and he definitely had more energy today.  His glands are still swollen, though.  That does concern me as I noted yesterday.  It has been about a year since they last removed cancerous lymph nodes which had moved and grown so much they were bothering him, so it just might be that is what we are facing again.  Then again, it could just be seasonal allergies and he has to suffer along just like the rest of us.

I am really rambling today.


As for me, I won a contest at work today (I never win anything!) and received a signed jersey from the Alaska Aces hockey team.  It is awesome.


Ciao!

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.” – Helen Keller

Today was supposed to be a fairly routine day for Sam - blood tests prior to the Xgeva injection tomorrow, support group, and then maybe even oncology rehab.  Needless to say...it didn't go that way.  He arrived at Providence to get the blood tests and discovered that the prescription for the tests were expired.  Of course, I did not see his text telling me all this and asking for the truck because I am thoroughly enjoying my lunch out with a girlfriend and we've got tons of catching up to do.  Checking my phone is the last thing on my mind. Luckily, he has learned patience, plus the support group was getting started, so he had something to do until I could get there to give him the truck.  He could have taken the bus but in order to get to his doctor's office and back to Providence, the bus truly was not an option.  That all would not have been so bad if we were not still trying to get all the insurance straightened out since he had gone on my insurance at the beginning of the year and also FINALLY signed up with the VA. My company is self-insured so that requires additional pre-authorizations which he has not had to obtain before. Luckily the doctor's office was aware of it due to my lengthy phone calls with the office a month or so ago, trying to get it all straightened out.  After he did all that running around and got the blood tests completed, he then had to get the truck back to me for my very important appointment at 5:00.  He was pretty darn tired, to say the least; however, he was still in a good mood by the time I got home.  How great is that!  Today was a good example of how he spent his days when he was first diagnosed with lung cancer.  We are both very grateful this doesn't happen very often anymore.  Sam wouldn't be able to do it on a continuing basis and I don't have time for it.  We'd be in a jam!

For those of you thinking, "I thought he wasn't supposed to be driving anymore," he is now ok to drive very short distances since he is no longer in chemo or radiation.  Even being able to drive the short distances has given him back a sense of independence and has made a tremendous impact on his spirits.

Chopping wood at Nancy Lake Public Use Cabin #2

Sam has been feeling kind of cruddy the past few days and this morning he did tell me he thinks his glands are swollen because his neck is sore.  When he tells me things like this, I try not to react too much because that drives him crazy.  So, instead, I worry silently, wondering if once again, it is the lymph nodes which are causing the pain, or if it is just a cold or sinus infection he is trying to fend off.  No matter what it is, his body's immune system is definitely not what it used to be which means I need to pay close attention to what it is he is telling me and how he is telling me.  Luckily, he also has an appointment with Dr. Rabinowitz on Friday.

Those Korean shows have finally gotten to Sam.  HA.  He just told me that he probably won't be watching them again for awhile because the series he has been watching became "just too intense."  Wonder what he will find to watch on Netflix now...

It was a beautiful spring day in Anchorage, bright blue skies, warm and the snow is rapidly (relatively speaking) melting.  All day I was wondering...is this it?  Or, is there another big one coming?  I want us to break the record, yet at the same time, I want the snow to be gone gone gone!  Plus, the snow is so very dirty during breakup.  Speaking of breakup, I need to remind Sam to buy our Nenana Ice Classic tickets. Gambling is not allowed in Alaska, so we make do with contests like betting when the tripod is going to break through the ice at Nenana.  It is pretty darn exciting!  http://www.nenanaakiceclassic.com/  Check it out.

Tomorrow is a new day and, I am sure, full of new opportunities.  Sam has his Xgeva injection in the morning, then will probably go to the shelter.  As for me, a couple meetings in the morning and then volunteering with other CIRI employees at the Elders Food Bank in the afternoon.

Ciao!

The future is literally in our hands to mold as we like. But we cannot wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is now. Eleanor Roosevelt

Did I tell you what Sam spent the day doing yesterday?  I had to ask him if he was angry with me about something and he seemed surprised I asked that. He sat in his recliner all day with his headphones on and his iPad propped up watching movies.  Not just any movies, but movies from South Korea, Japan, and I don't know where all, and they required subtitles.  He was transfixed.  On the other hand, it also seemed to wear Rocky and him out so they needed an extra long nap in the afternoon.

Today flew by for me.  Told Sam 'see ya later' about 8:30am and it was non-stop until about 20 minutes ago...just before 8pm!  Did I accomplish anything?  Absolutely. What was it?  That I was able to get away from the cancer ride. I am able to do that each and every day I go to work, or book club, or the gym, or whatever and wherever.  Most of the time I am not even aware that I am pushing "reality" into the background and focusing on other things which require my immediate attention.  But then, there are moments throughout the day when it hits me full force, and interestingly enough, it's usually not something major which creates the reminder, it's something very minute - like standing in the cereal aisle at Fred Meyer looking at Cheerios. Yes, that was me, the sobbing hysterical woman for a few seconds.  No, it didn't happen this trip, but it has happened before.  The thing is, Sam never gets a reprieve.  He lives with it each and every minute of each and every day.  Even those times when we are snowshoeing or hiking or just walking along Chester Creek, he is constantly aware of his situation.  I just can't imagine.

Sam spent a couple hours at the animal shelter today.  He always comes back in good humor.  When I've been with him around animals, they all just gravitate to him.  Last summer we visited the Reindeer Farm in Palmer where there is a bison named Dolly.  The staff warned everyone to stay away from her because her horns alone could hurt someone.  Well, Sam stepped up to the fence, and Dolly stepped up to the other side of the fence, and she fell in love with him.  It was hilarious!  Sam scratched her back and she just rubbed up against the fence loving every minute of it.  The staff was amazed.  I wasn't, although I did get a good laugh out of this huge bison named Dolly trying to get as close as possible to my husband.  Luckily the fence was there otherwise who knows what would have happened!  Anyway, my point is, I think it is as therapeutic for Sam as it is for the animals who all seem to understand that Sam is sick and needs extra love and attention from them. It is truly a wonderful thing to watch.

Tomorrow Sam has blood tests in preparation for the Xgeva infusion which is for the bone metastases. The actual infusion is set for Wednesday.  At about the 10 day mark, Sam sometimes starts to have side effects, chills, fever, chills, fever, which last anywhere from 24-48 hours.  Each time I hope and pray it doesn't happen, but it's always a guessing game.  Another of those, "we just take it when it comes because there's just not much else we can do about it" scenarios.

Today is also the last day of winter.  Thank goodness!  However, Anchorage still needs another 3.2 inches of snow to break the record.  I hope we get it because I do not want to go through another snowy winter like this for a very long time to come. Sam and I both love the snow, yet...this year, we've both had enough of it already!  Here's to a wonderful spring!

Just an FYI, several people have asked if they can send me checks for the 2012 Alaska Clean Air Bike Challenge.  Absolutely.  The check needs to be made out to American Lung Association and can be given to me.  If you need our mailing address, send me a quick email and I will send it to you.  Thank you to all of you who have already donated.  Each day I am getting more and more excited about it!

Ciao!