“Courage is like a muscle strenghthened by its use.” Ruth Gordon (the late actress)

Sam is either the bravest man I know or the craziest man I know, or possibly a little of both.  Hints about various aspects of his current physical health have been dropped all week, and tonight is no different. "My left eye is kind of blurry."  Followed by, "I guess it's been that way a few days...maybe a week or so."  Hello?  Since when does "a few days" equal "a week or so?"  Either way, I did not react because that drives him nuts.  I calmly walked into my bathroom and proceeded to have a "moment" while processing what Sam had just told me.  At that point, I headed to the computer to google "blurry left eye lung cancer."  Needless to say, I should not have done that.  While I am sitting here silently freaking out, Sam is over in his chair, laughing with the cats, cheerful as can be just like life is normal, which in a way, I suppose it is.

On the other hand, now he is sitting over there telling me that perhaps the reason he is having these "head" problems is because his brain is tired from studying too much Japanese.  As a certain former half-governor often says, "You betcha!"

Rocky aka Garfield, taking his after dinner nap.
He is so black you can hardly see that
his head is  upside down.

After writing all this, I do feel better and it really is life as usual.  So many different things happen throughout the course of one's cancer journey, it is often referred to as a "roller coaster ride."  Therefore, overreacting to something is not in any one's best interest, especially Sam's or mine. Tomorrow, however, if he still is having issues, I will insist on him calling the oncology triage nurse to tell her what is going on.

Sweet Pea guarding her toys because she knows the
scary big green monster (the vacuum) is about to come
out of the closet and get her and all her toys!

As for me, one more week until the Clean Air Bike Challenge (http://action.lung.org/goto/daraglass) and yes, I am ready.   Sunday is the Bike for Women and although it is only 9 miles (compared to 120 next week) the first half is downhill which means the second half is uphill.  What are the race planners thinking? No matter what it will be fun.

Our Memorial Day plans are made, we are headed to Kodiak on the ferry. If all goes as planned, because we are not able to get a ferry back until the following weekend, I will fly home on Tuesday morning and fly back to Kodiak Friday afternoon to get Sam and our truck back on the ferry Saturday to head home.  Yes, it sounds kind of crazy, but sometimes you just do what you have got to do.  He is very excited about spending a few additional days hanging out in Kodiak (city) and I hope it all works out for him and that I do not worry too much about him.

Ciao!