Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. -Erma Bombeck

Mt. Augustine at sunset.

Home after a long weekend away.  Sam and I had a great time in Homer, and the weather could not have been better.  Well, maybe a few degrees would have been good, but nonetheless, we had a terrific time.  There is not one place we have been to in Alaska which we have not liked, and Homer is definitely one of our "more" favorites.  The scenery is simply amazing.
The state of Alaska has three different programs in which you can purchase land from the state.  Currently, two of those programs are in process.  The first is the land sales auction in which specific areas of land are put up for sale and you can bid on those properties.  As in regular auctions, the sale goes to the highest bidder.  In the second program, the state lists various parcels of land which have not yet been surveyed.  Residents can then stake land within those parcels for a recreational use cabin.  The resident will then lease the land for a period of time and then purchase at the fair market value once the survey and appraisal have been completed.  Since the day we decided to move to Alaska, Sam has wanted to participate in one of these programs and build that cabin every guy dreams of in some remote spot off the grid.  Up until Sam's diagnosis, I was fairly supportive of this (although...I did have my qualms about a few things, such as walking in 11 miles to some remote spot that may or may not have any dry land to speak of...) Anyway, Sam is back to having a strong desire to do this.  Hence our discussion, especially since some of these lands are in the Homer, southern Kenai Peninsula area.  We discussed it indepth several times throughout the weekend and Sam was never able to get me to agree to it for several reasons, and they all relate to his health.  For example, if we purchase or bid or stake out the land right now, it will take at least one summer, if not two, to clear the land for at least some type of foundation.  Sam's physical health does not allow him to put forth as much strength as he used to.  I would not be able to help because I would be working, meaning either he is out there alone (!!!) or some buddy of his is out there with him (!!!!!!!)  It would involve digging post holes many feet down, pouring concrete into the post holes or pad, and all this after he, or they, have cleared away all the trees, brush, whathaveyou.  By the time this is completed, a few years from now, Sam's health is probably going to have deteriorated much more, or he might not even be here.  Which, if you know where I am headed, means I now have another piece of property I am probably never going to go to (we already have one in New Mexico) yet I will not want to give it up because it is part of Sam's dream.  We had a few miles of total silence in the truck since we were having the final discussion as we were headed home.  Me trying to figure out how to compromise and Sam trying to work through all his emotions.  Finally, he broke the silence by telling me he understood where I was coming from and what I was saying.  It was very difficult for both of us at that point, needless to say.  Plus, I do not want to discourage him from pursuing a goal.  However, this is one goal which for right now, just does not make sense in any manner whatsoever. I felt very sad at that point, and still do, and hope we can figure out a way to have that cabin or yurt or whatever out in the middle of nowhere while Sam is still around to enjoy it. Only thing is, we are going to have to win the lottery soon in order to make it happen.

I am very grateful he wants to get out and do things.

Sam's health seems to be doing pretty good right now, although he did admit to me over the weekend that for some reason his hips/pelvic area seem to constantly be cold. We wondered if it was nerve related or circulation related so we walked a lot trying to get his body going again. He has not said one way or the other about how he is feeling now, although he has on several layers of clothes, so I am thinking he is still cold.  In addition, the rash from the Tarceva is all over his chest and back.  It is probably the worst I have ever seen it.  We are grateful for the rash, as it means the Tarceva is working, however, it certainly is uncomfortable for Sam.  He tries not to scratch it, but I catch him doing it all the time.

As for me, I spent the day at the FERC scoping meeting for the Susitna-Watana Hydropower Project (another word for "dam").  It was a project started and stopped in the 80s and now the current governor has renewed it. Part of my job is staying informed on projects like this, especially since the land the dam and reservoir will be on belong mostly to my company and its village corporations.

All in all, things are going well!

Ciao.