“Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.” Grandma Moses

Tomorrow marks two weeks since Sam's chemo treatment of Alimta and carboplatin.  He is actually doing quite well, although this morning he did tell me his hands and feet are tingling which means the neuropathy is probably beginning.  Neuropathy, as most of you are probably aware, is a side effect of this type of chemo treatment as well as a side effect of lung cancer. In addition, he seems to constantly be cold which really is not surprising, either, since the tumors in his lungs are affecting his circulation. His attitude, though, is still phenomenal and for that I am so grateful.  The personality changes are what concern me most about the chemo treatment and so far, so good.  Yeah for the little things!

He finally heard from the VA doctor yet who provided him a phone number to call to schedule the MRI which he plans on doing tomorrow.  Between my job and our weekend getaways, scheduling the medical things are a challenge which is okay with both of us at this point.

Fox Creek overflowing its banks and onto the empty parking area. 

Last weekend we ventured to Chitina to dipnet in the Copper. Sam refused to listen to everyone saying the river is running high, is very muddy, and no one is catching any fish.  We also went hoping to see Sam McAllister, one of the river guides who is from Prairie City, 13 or so miles from John Day where we call home in eastern Oregon.  Lo and behold, the river guides had closed up the day before!  We hiked in 2.7 miles on the Copper Highway to O'Brien Creek, sat on the sandbar for 30 or so minutes with our nets in the very muddy water, caught nothing, and decided to heck with this, let's go back.  Luckily, the day was gorgeous so the hike was awesome, although we were both very sore on Sunday and Monday.

Loading up the wagon which hauled our gear
along the Copper River Highway.

Thursday morning I have a meeting in Kenai, so we are headed down to the Russian River area for a few days, another river which is running high and fishing is not all that good.  Plus...there are bear issues, lots and lots of bear issues.  That should be fun and exciting!  Hopefully, though, Sam will catch at least one fish and be happy, especially since dipnetting on the Copper was not successful.

On the other hand, he seems to be really enjoying his summer so far and I could not ask for anything more.  We have plans to head towards Denali after the 4th, then back down to the Kenai Peninsula after that as my work will be taking me back there for a few days later in July. If I have not said told you recently, I really do love my job and so does Sam!

The snarky side of me came out the past few days, and for any of you who I took it out on, I apologize.  One of the things which drives Sam and I both crazy are the various comments which are made by very caring people who do not by any means intend to be rude or otherwise, they just do not know what to say.  At this point in the journey, it is almost like we are living with a chronic disease, yet we know that because the cancer is literally throughout Sam's body, there is no treatment yet available which will cure him.  A miracle is the only way, and yes, a miracle is entirely possible but only on God's terms, not ours.  Anyway, I digress (imagine that!)  We both recognize no one prepares anyone for times like these and therefore, no one learns the best things to say and/or do.  Sam and I discuss this all the time mostly because sometimes we are just amazed at people and other times, we are saddened.  More than anything, the best thing to do (in our minds, anyway) is to communicate and do not be afraid to ask questions.  If we do not feel like talking about our situation, we will tell you and ask to change the subject.  More often than not, though, we are happy to share as it is therapeutic for us and educational for you plus it tells us you truly do care.  However, do not start in with the "you're going to be just fine" line because that is a complete lie and makes the hair on the back of both our necks stand up because it means you have absolutely no idea of the situation we are in, nor do you really care.

Dipnetting on the very muddy and
extremely high Copper River.

Ok, I could go on and on about this but I will stop now.  Enough of my ranting.

In case anyone is wondering, we are still tent camping.  The other day Sam told me when he goes camping, he wants to sleep outside, not inside of a house he brings along with him.  In the very next breath he told me if I really wanted a trailer/camper/motorhome to just go get one.  HA.  Yeah, I know how that works.  On the other hand, he said it...and I know the minute it starts raining and we are in the trailer, he will be extremely grateful. So, I am going shopping!

Ciao!

Why are you obsessed with fighting? Stick to fishing from now on. -- Tim Rice, lyric from Jesus Christ Superstar

I need new gear!

Today excitement reigned supreme because the new Cabela's catalogue showed up and  it is all about fishing.  We have to purchase new boots this year because felt bottoms are no longer legal.  So, I opened the catalogue fully prepared to spend oodles of money on girl gear...and guess what.  To my utter disgust, only one page, actually make that 1/2 page because it states "Men's and Women's sizes available", is geared towards females.  ARGH.  If only I had more time and more money, I would open a sporting goods store specifically for women.  Not the tennis/swim wear stores like we already have or REI, but a real honest to goodness sporting goods store geared towards females.  Drives me nuts.  And oh yes, the second thing would be NO PINK IS ALLOWED.  What is up with that?  Pink waders?  Not in my world.  And yes, I have friends who wear them but I do not allow them to stand anywhere near me while fishing.  Anyway, there is my rant for the day.  As you can probably tell, fishing is on my mind.  A lot.

We will be doing a lot of fishing on the Kenai Peninsula this year as well as in Seldovia.  We can hardly wait.

Sam did not do much today except work on his Japanese lessons.  He is almost like a bull dog right now with those things.  Very focused.  His spirits are good, as always, and he seems to be feeling well right now, too.  Although so far we have not figured out why whenever he eats, his nose just starts running uncontrollably.  It is the oddest thing.  Writing about it is making me laugh because it just sounds so weird, but it is very true.  So if anyone has any ideas...let us know, please!

Work is extremely busy for me and is only going to get busier with summer coming on.  I am also the contact person for my company for wildfires.  With the snow pack we have had this winter, hopefully fire season will be fairly quiet, but we shall see.

Anchorage is still reeling from the election boondogle the other day.  It will be very interesting to see how this plays out.  Personally, I think a do-over would be a good idea with the Federal Election Commission overseeing the whole darn process.  Just my opinion!

Ciao!

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. -Erma Bombeck

Mt. Augustine at sunset.

Home after a long weekend away.  Sam and I had a great time in Homer, and the weather could not have been better.  Well, maybe a few degrees would have been good, but nonetheless, we had a terrific time.  There is not one place we have been to in Alaska which we have not liked, and Homer is definitely one of our "more" favorites.  The scenery is simply amazing.
The state of Alaska has three different programs in which you can purchase land from the state.  Currently, two of those programs are in process.  The first is the land sales auction in which specific areas of land are put up for sale and you can bid on those properties.  As in regular auctions, the sale goes to the highest bidder.  In the second program, the state lists various parcels of land which have not yet been surveyed.  Residents can then stake land within those parcels for a recreational use cabin.  The resident will then lease the land for a period of time and then purchase at the fair market value once the survey and appraisal have been completed.  Since the day we decided to move to Alaska, Sam has wanted to participate in one of these programs and build that cabin every guy dreams of in some remote spot off the grid.  Up until Sam's diagnosis, I was fairly supportive of this (although...I did have my qualms about a few things, such as walking in 11 miles to some remote spot that may or may not have any dry land to speak of...) Anyway, Sam is back to having a strong desire to do this.  Hence our discussion, especially since some of these lands are in the Homer, southern Kenai Peninsula area.  We discussed it indepth several times throughout the weekend and Sam was never able to get me to agree to it for several reasons, and they all relate to his health.  For example, if we purchase or bid or stake out the land right now, it will take at least one summer, if not two, to clear the land for at least some type of foundation.  Sam's physical health does not allow him to put forth as much strength as he used to.  I would not be able to help because I would be working, meaning either he is out there alone (!!!) or some buddy of his is out there with him (!!!!!!!)  It would involve digging post holes many feet down, pouring concrete into the post holes or pad, and all this after he, or they, have cleared away all the trees, brush, whathaveyou.  By the time this is completed, a few years from now, Sam's health is probably going to have deteriorated much more, or he might not even be here.  Which, if you know where I am headed, means I now have another piece of property I am probably never going to go to (we already have one in New Mexico) yet I will not want to give it up because it is part of Sam's dream.  We had a few miles of total silence in the truck since we were having the final discussion as we were headed home.  Me trying to figure out how to compromise and Sam trying to work through all his emotions.  Finally, he broke the silence by telling me he understood where I was coming from and what I was saying.  It was very difficult for both of us at that point, needless to say.  Plus, I do not want to discourage him from pursuing a goal.  However, this is one goal which for right now, just does not make sense in any manner whatsoever. I felt very sad at that point, and still do, and hope we can figure out a way to have that cabin or yurt or whatever out in the middle of nowhere while Sam is still around to enjoy it. Only thing is, we are going to have to win the lottery soon in order to make it happen.

I am very grateful he wants to get out and do things.

Sam's health seems to be doing pretty good right now, although he did admit to me over the weekend that for some reason his hips/pelvic area seem to constantly be cold. We wondered if it was nerve related or circulation related so we walked a lot trying to get his body going again. He has not said one way or the other about how he is feeling now, although he has on several layers of clothes, so I am thinking he is still cold.  In addition, the rash from the Tarceva is all over his chest and back.  It is probably the worst I have ever seen it.  We are grateful for the rash, as it means the Tarceva is working, however, it certainly is uncomfortable for Sam.  He tries not to scratch it, but I catch him doing it all the time.

As for me, I spent the day at the FERC scoping meeting for the Susitna-Watana Hydropower Project (another word for "dam").  It was a project started and stopped in the 80s and now the current governor has renewed it. Part of my job is staying informed on projects like this, especially since the land the dam and reservoir will be on belong mostly to my company and its village corporations.

All in all, things are going well!

Ciao.