It's my life And it's now or never 'Cause I ain't gonna live forever I just want to live while I'm alive (It's my life)...Jon Bon Jovi, Lyrics from "It's My Life"

Today Sam and I officially celebrate our 4th year of living in Alaska!  Wow.  So much has happened and we have so much still to do.  Tomorrow night we head out for Kodiak, catching the ferry in Homer early Friday morning.  Both of us are really looking forward to it.

Knik Glacier from our secret overlook.

Our weekend at Knik River Lodge was fabulous.  No rain, no wind, some clouds, we could not have asked for more.  We hiked to a spot overlooking the Knik Glacier and the trail is quite primitive!  A little over 5 miles roundtrip and some spots required hand over hand climbing.  Our knees hurt like crazy the next day!

Although Sam's appointment with his oncologist is not until tomorrow, he picked up the results from last week's CT scans on his chest, abdomen and pelvis yesterday because we could not wait any longer.  It is not what we want to hear.  "Numerous bilateral soft tissue density pulmonary parenchymal nodules are present, increasing significantly in size and number from previous, too numerous to count bilaterally."  In other words, the tumors in his lung surrounding his heart, including the main one directly behind his heart, increased significantly in size and numbers since the prior CT scan 3 months ago.  Right now I am not going to venture a guess at what the doctor will say tomorrow.  It might very well be that he does not see this as serious as we do (there is always hope!) Or, he will confirm our thoughts.

In the past when things changed, it normally took 3-4 days for the both of us to wrap our minds around it.  This time, not so much.  We knew something changed but we did not know what.  Putting my thoughts into written words is proving to be a struggle for me.  Plus I do not want to be like the boy who cried wolf, yet I want you to fully understand the situation.

The doctors at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance told us this was a definite possibility which eventually would lead to Sam being unable to breath.  However, at this time, that is not a problem because, as Sam noted, his lung capacity is above average which is probably his saving grace right now. Otherwise, his quality of life would be suffering and we would be making other decisions.

No matter what, we are headed to Kodiak!

If time allows tomorrow, I will post a quick note as to what the doctor and Sam decide to do from here.

Ciao!