1. No more traveling (which is the most difficult.)
2. Sam is extremely limited in things he can do for himself.
3. No matter how excited we are about the new cancer drug, it is going to do nothing for the pain caused from the bone metastases.
4. The pain from the bone mets is excruciating (my word for the day.)
5. The bone pain (hips/pelvis/femur) is much higher priority than the pulmonary embolism, the deep vein thrombosis and the pulmonary tumors combined.
What to do? The pain is wreaking havoc on Sam's quality of life and maintaining a good quality of life is extremely important to us.
Thursday is the day for the VA home assessment. There are temporary measures in place until this is done in order for us to continue living day to day best as we can.
Yesterday during our chat we both stated we feel this is not fair but it is what it is so we will make the best of it, no matter where it takes us.
Unless Sam's health takes a major upward swing, which is entirely possible, we are both preparing for the distinct possibility of hospice sometime soon. After last night's discussion, I think Sam might be waiting for me to make that final decision. We are both slowly wrapping our minds around it. Just keep in mind, the whole point of hospice is pain management. Sam is already taking pain meds of the most intense at the highest dosage without becoming completely loopy. Any increase and there is a good possibility we will not have many conversations such as we did last night. That being said, hospice can last a long time.
I hope to write every few days now as my energy level is dwindling and I need to focus it on Sam, myself and work.
I do have a favor to ask as well. Several years ago, Sam's storage unit was broken into and he lost almost all his sports memoriabilia. If you happen to have any photos (sports, school, whathaveyou) of Sam from throughout the years, would you please share them with us? You can email them to me at joieevans@alumni.utexas.net and it will be greatly appreciated.
It is coming to the end of summer. The only good thing about that is FOOTBALL! My Denver Broncos are having a terrific summer camp (if everyone can stay out of jail, good grief!) and are looking forward to another awesome season. I can hardly wait!
q'ua
