”That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

Do you know how many times people have repeated Mr. Nietzsche's quote to me?  The first time I heard it,  I reacted with a "hmmm...yeah...very true..." but each time after that, all I wanted to do was pretty much just reach out and slap the person up the side of the head!  However, it is a very true statement and I remind myself of it day in and day out. I just do not need or want to hear someone else repeat it to me again.  Ever.  Anyway, as a caregiver, you find yourself juggling many hats and you just do not know how you are going to continue on like you are.  Those are the times, for me anyway, when I realize I need to take a step back and do something just for me.  It does not matter what it is or how long it lasts, only that it is just for me, whether it be a quick walk, a Chai tea, workout, nap, Dairy Queen blizzard, or whatever, it is all about me.  Just a few minutes of "me" time and I feel revitalized and able to continue on with whatever it was that needed my attention immediately.  In addition, drinking lots of water and staying well hydrated makes a significant difference in my attitude and in my stress level.  Pretty darn amazing the little things one can learn about one's self. Plus..."that which doesn't kill us..." you get my drift, I am sure.

Dan Audick and Sam messing around on the dock at Big Lake.

That was a lot of rambling and after re-reading it, I am not certain I got my point across, so I hope you can figure out what I was trying to say!

Sam spent a few hours at the kennel today.  Two puppies were there along with six full grown dogs.  The favorite today was a Doberman Pinscher.  Sam was told he was a bit shy so he might have a problem getting him out to walk.  Apparently, the Doby was bouncing all over the place and could not get out the door fast enough.  He did not seem so shy to Sam, obviously.  Sam and the Doby both got some much needed exercise, needless to say.

Last night we talked a bit more about Sam's legs.  He believes that his legs are once again losing strength like they did last summer.  Since he has already been through it once, he understands what is happening when he experiences certain sensations, or even the lack thereof.  In his words, it will really be a big deal if he is able to rebuild the strength in his legs on his own, especially since the doctors have told him no more radiation.  I hope he is able to rebuild the strength and maintain it.  The catch is, currently his leg strength is probably only at 85% after losing complete feeling in his left leg last summer from a tumor pressing up against his spine in the lower back.  Radiation was able to shrink the tumor and Sam was therefore able to regain most, but not all, of his strength through physical therapy.  Now that I am putting this into words, I am wondering if this is not something we will continue to go through, kind of like the old style of football the Bears and Packers used to play - working the ball back and forth until finally someone is close enough to the goal to actually score.  I digress.  Anyway, what this does do is remind both of us that his bone structure is extremely fragile and his back even more so.  He has been told more than once that any wrong move and he could be paralyzed from the nerves in his back being cut off by the cancer in his spine.  Even with that knowledge, though, Sam still does his best to live life to the fullest.

Spring is on the way here in Anchorage, slowly but surely.  I was thrilled yesterday to be able to drive all the home without going into 4-wheel drive.  However, just trying to get out of our garage this morning required the 4-wheel drive.  At least now it is down to just the trip to work rather than both.  Progress.

The baseball season is upon us.  Opening day is right around the corner.  Wonder how my Rockies and Sam's Giants are going to do this year?

Ciao!