You cannot win if you do not play. Unknown

Yes, I totally made that up because I have no idea who came up with that saying first.  Tonight I think the lottery is a great subject to talk about for a bit.  From what I just read online, the mega millions is up to something like $640 million.  Even if I am a few dollars off, it does not matter because no matter how you look at it, that is a boat load of money.  Now, seriously, what will a person do with all that money? If I win (and do not worry, I cannot since Alaska does not have the lottery as I pointed out in a prior post) I will give it to people who are terminally ill.  Not, for instance, to the American Cancer Society, because most of that money goes to research and finding a cure. I will give it directly to the families because the cost of surviving is almost insurmountable and sends many, many people into bankruptcy, foreclosure and other dire situations.  Very few organizations provide financial assistance for day to day living expenses for families with high medical bills. For many caregivers, this is an added stress on top of worrying about the patient and maintaining a household, regardless of whether or not it is 2 people or 10 people. Sometimes it really angers me so much money is being given to finding a cure when nothing is given to those who are just trying to survive until a cure is found.  Yes, it is a catch-22 in a way, but lowering the stress level of the caregiver in turn lowers the stress level of the patient which in turn does keep the patient alive longer.  So, if you happen to be the lucky one, I will not try to make you feel guilty, but I do hope you will think twice about what you chose to do with your winnings.  Oh, and I will offer you congratulations and a "way to go!"

Now you know another one of my many soapboxes.  Lucky you!

Our first day in Alaska, May 2008.  We were so excited!

Sam is in a great mood tonight.  That is always a good thing to come home to.  I am ever so lucky, too, because I married a man who likes to cook. On the days he is feeling good, dinner is always ready when I get home. It is awesome.  Tonight he grilled halibut and made his own honey mustard sauce.  Yes!  Plus, we are working hard to empty the freezer because fishing season is just around the corner.  The cats like this time of year, too, because they get the leftovers.  Sweet Pea, though, is a princess and she only eats salmon.  She knows how to give a dirty look, too, when she realizes it is a halibut kind of night.  HA.

We have no plans for the weekend except to workout.  I am now down to 6 weeks and counting.  Starting to get a little bit nervous.  120 miles.  What am I thinking?  Plus, two friends are riding on the Glass Half Full team with me and I am certain they are already in better shape than I am!  

In case you are wondering, at 9pm it was still light out and 43 degrees.

Ciao!

”That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

Do you know how many times people have repeated Mr. Nietzsche's quote to me?  The first time I heard it,  I reacted with a "hmmm...yeah...very true..." but each time after that, all I wanted to do was pretty much just reach out and slap the person up the side of the head!  However, it is a very true statement and I remind myself of it day in and day out. I just do not need or want to hear someone else repeat it to me again.  Ever.  Anyway, as a caregiver, you find yourself juggling many hats and you just do not know how you are going to continue on like you are.  Those are the times, for me anyway, when I realize I need to take a step back and do something just for me.  It does not matter what it is or how long it lasts, only that it is just for me, whether it be a quick walk, a Chai tea, workout, nap, Dairy Queen blizzard, or whatever, it is all about me.  Just a few minutes of "me" time and I feel revitalized and able to continue on with whatever it was that needed my attention immediately.  In addition, drinking lots of water and staying well hydrated makes a significant difference in my attitude and in my stress level.  Pretty darn amazing the little things one can learn about one's self. Plus..."that which doesn't kill us..." you get my drift, I am sure.

Dan Audick and Sam messing around on the dock at Big Lake.

That was a lot of rambling and after re-reading it, I am not certain I got my point across, so I hope you can figure out what I was trying to say!

Sam spent a few hours at the kennel today.  Two puppies were there along with six full grown dogs.  The favorite today was a Doberman Pinscher.  Sam was told he was a bit shy so he might have a problem getting him out to walk.  Apparently, the Doby was bouncing all over the place and could not get out the door fast enough.  He did not seem so shy to Sam, obviously.  Sam and the Doby both got some much needed exercise, needless to say.

Last night we talked a bit more about Sam's legs.  He believes that his legs are once again losing strength like they did last summer.  Since he has already been through it once, he understands what is happening when he experiences certain sensations, or even the lack thereof.  In his words, it will really be a big deal if he is able to rebuild the strength in his legs on his own, especially since the doctors have told him no more radiation.  I hope he is able to rebuild the strength and maintain it.  The catch is, currently his leg strength is probably only at 85% after losing complete feeling in his left leg last summer from a tumor pressing up against his spine in the lower back.  Radiation was able to shrink the tumor and Sam was therefore able to regain most, but not all, of his strength through physical therapy.  Now that I am putting this into words, I am wondering if this is not something we will continue to go through, kind of like the old style of football the Bears and Packers used to play - working the ball back and forth until finally someone is close enough to the goal to actually score.  I digress.  Anyway, what this does do is remind both of us that his bone structure is extremely fragile and his back even more so.  He has been told more than once that any wrong move and he could be paralyzed from the nerves in his back being cut off by the cancer in his spine.  Even with that knowledge, though, Sam still does his best to live life to the fullest.

Spring is on the way here in Anchorage, slowly but surely.  I was thrilled yesterday to be able to drive all the home without going into 4-wheel drive.  However, just trying to get out of our garage this morning required the 4-wheel drive.  At least now it is down to just the trip to work rather than both.  Progress.

The baseball season is upon us.  Opening day is right around the corner.  Wonder how my Rockies and Sam's Giants are going to do this year?

Ciao!

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. ~ Mark Twain

People often ask me if I have a good support system.  Personally, I feel I have one of the best.  My friends here in Alaska, my friends and family out of state, and I am also involved with an online support group through CancerCare.org.  The support group I am with is specifically for caregivers of those who have lung cancer, so I  am involved with a group of people who thoroughly understand my world as I know it now.  We have become quite close, so when anything happens to one of us, we all are affected because at some point or another, we know each of us will also experience the same thing.  We share many tears of joy, frustration, fears, and many blessings in disguise.  As I have been with the group for 2 1/2 years, I am considered one of the "veterans," in fact, there currently is only one other caregiver who has been with the group longer than I have. That fact kind of scares me, but it also gives me hope because it means that Sam is still here with me and doing quite well compared to many others in his position.  I was reminded of that over the weekend as one of our members experienced a very deep loss and she has not been with us long which means it was also very quick after the diagnosis.  My heart breaks for her and her family.  Through her loss, though, the rest of us are able to learn from her experience, and hopefully by the time it is our turn, we will be much better prepared for our own situations. That is my definition of blessings in disguise because the more comfortable and aware we become of what we are facing, the greater the amount of dignity and respect will accompany that difficult time.  Hopefully it is a lesson learned for all of us.

Sam seems to have had a good day, although he did not venture out.  The snow is melting and therefore we have ponds of water, which as one journalist noted, compare well with the canals of Venice right now.  One of Sam's concerns is being wet, so to avoid getting splashed and therefore, drenched to the bone, he stays in.  I am grateful for that because besides looking like a drowned rat, he also runs the risk of quickly developing pneumonia, so we like to keep him as dry as possible.  Who would have a thought a former Oregon Duck swimmer would be doing his best to stay dry?  I certainly would not have!

First of many sockeye on the Kvichak last summer.  We stayed at Blueberry Island Lodge.
 One of our best fishing vacations yet.  Can't wait to see what this summer brings!

And now, we are looking forward to another terrific summer and the many mini-vacations we are hoping to take.  Fishing regulations for the Northern Cook Inlet Region came out yesterday and they cover our favorite spot at the Little Su.  It looks like things are going to be a bit different this summer, so we will have to plan accordingly.  Just makes for a bit more excitement.  Fred the king salmon is still out there waiting for me and I will definitely be seeking him out.  He has avoided me for 4 summers now, it is time for me to find him!  I am hoping some of Sam the Fish Whisperer has rubbed off on me because I could certainly use some of his secrets.

As the land manager for the Alaska Native corporation I work for, I also will be visiting a lot of our lands over the next 6 or so months.  Hopefully Sam will be able to travel with me on many of those trips as well.  That is one aspect of my job I absolutely love and am really looking forward to heading out and seeing our lands through the eyes of the shareholders, the Elders and the descendants.  Summer cannot come fast enough!

Ciao!

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. -Erma Bombeck

Mt. Augustine at sunset.

Home after a long weekend away.  Sam and I had a great time in Homer, and the weather could not have been better.  Well, maybe a few degrees would have been good, but nonetheless, we had a terrific time.  There is not one place we have been to in Alaska which we have not liked, and Homer is definitely one of our "more" favorites.  The scenery is simply amazing.
The state of Alaska has three different programs in which you can purchase land from the state.  Currently, two of those programs are in process.  The first is the land sales auction in which specific areas of land are put up for sale and you can bid on those properties.  As in regular auctions, the sale goes to the highest bidder.  In the second program, the state lists various parcels of land which have not yet been surveyed.  Residents can then stake land within those parcels for a recreational use cabin.  The resident will then lease the land for a period of time and then purchase at the fair market value once the survey and appraisal have been completed.  Since the day we decided to move to Alaska, Sam has wanted to participate in one of these programs and build that cabin every guy dreams of in some remote spot off the grid.  Up until Sam's diagnosis, I was fairly supportive of this (although...I did have my qualms about a few things, such as walking in 11 miles to some remote spot that may or may not have any dry land to speak of...) Anyway, Sam is back to having a strong desire to do this.  Hence our discussion, especially since some of these lands are in the Homer, southern Kenai Peninsula area.  We discussed it indepth several times throughout the weekend and Sam was never able to get me to agree to it for several reasons, and they all relate to his health.  For example, if we purchase or bid or stake out the land right now, it will take at least one summer, if not two, to clear the land for at least some type of foundation.  Sam's physical health does not allow him to put forth as much strength as he used to.  I would not be able to help because I would be working, meaning either he is out there alone (!!!) or some buddy of his is out there with him (!!!!!!!)  It would involve digging post holes many feet down, pouring concrete into the post holes or pad, and all this after he, or they, have cleared away all the trees, brush, whathaveyou.  By the time this is completed, a few years from now, Sam's health is probably going to have deteriorated much more, or he might not even be here.  Which, if you know where I am headed, means I now have another piece of property I am probably never going to go to (we already have one in New Mexico) yet I will not want to give it up because it is part of Sam's dream.  We had a few miles of total silence in the truck since we were having the final discussion as we were headed home.  Me trying to figure out how to compromise and Sam trying to work through all his emotions.  Finally, he broke the silence by telling me he understood where I was coming from and what I was saying.  It was very difficult for both of us at that point, needless to say.  Plus, I do not want to discourage him from pursuing a goal.  However, this is one goal which for right now, just does not make sense in any manner whatsoever. I felt very sad at that point, and still do, and hope we can figure out a way to have that cabin or yurt or whatever out in the middle of nowhere while Sam is still around to enjoy it. Only thing is, we are going to have to win the lottery soon in order to make it happen.

I am very grateful he wants to get out and do things.

Sam's health seems to be doing pretty good right now, although he did admit to me over the weekend that for some reason his hips/pelvic area seem to constantly be cold. We wondered if it was nerve related or circulation related so we walked a lot trying to get his body going again. He has not said one way or the other about how he is feeling now, although he has on several layers of clothes, so I am thinking he is still cold.  In addition, the rash from the Tarceva is all over his chest and back.  It is probably the worst I have ever seen it.  We are grateful for the rash, as it means the Tarceva is working, however, it certainly is uncomfortable for Sam.  He tries not to scratch it, but I catch him doing it all the time.

As for me, I spent the day at the FERC scoping meeting for the Susitna-Watana Hydropower Project (another word for "dam").  It was a project started and stopped in the 80s and now the current governor has renewed it. Part of my job is staying informed on projects like this, especially since the land the dam and reservoir will be on belong mostly to my company and its village corporations.

All in all, things are going well!

Ciao.

Finding the right work is like discovering your own soul in the world. Thomas Moore

Blizzard warning!  No kidding, at least south of here.  Thank goodness for my girlfriend keeping an eye on the weather for us or we would be right in the middle of it headed to Homer.  Now, we are playing it safe and hoping to go in the morning.

Layla, one of our newest office puppies.  She is just a bundle of fur!

Sam's appointment with the oncologist went well today.  The nurse noticed right away he has lost weight and yes, he has.  I am hoping it is because we have cut out most sugars from our diet and no other reason.  He is looking good!  He is probably going back to the Zometa for his bone metastases, mostly due to insurance reasons, but also because there have been some recent studies showing that Xgeva is not as successful as Zometa.  Question is, how exactly is "success" defined?  In Sam's case, it is probably defined as still being able to walk and no broken bones, and I am sure that is what the doctor is thinking, too.  He questioned Sam about how his legs are working and if he is experiencing any weakness.  The doctor also told him to stay active.  That is probably the word which needs to be defined...active...

As for me, I just finished the first official week after a promotion to my new position as Land Manager.      Basically a land use planner with a different title and I am thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. Life is definitely much easier to handle when your home and work lives are in good spots at the same time.

Since we are going to be out of town for three days, I will not be updating until we return.  In the meantime, enjoy your spring!

Ciao!

"The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life." ~Brian Tracy~

Another bright and sunny day in Anchorage but where's the warmth that is supposed to go with the sunshine?

Sam spent a couple hours at the shelter today and I am sure the dogs loved walking outside with him. Or maybe he loved walking outside with each of them more.  Who knows?  He is always in a great mood in the evenings when he's had his dog therapy.

Yesterday I noted Sam searched for a place to purchase some new glasses; however, I did not mention the reason why.  The other morning he told me his vision is getting a little bit fuzzy and he is needing to wear his glasses all the time. When he told me this, that little voice of panic inside me started trying to decide if this is due to age or to other possibilities, including the cancer's arrival in his brain. I do believe it is that good ol' aging factor, but that other possibility hangs in there and probably always will until the end. Since the cancer has spread to pretty much everywhere else in his body, the odds are good it will one day spread to his brain. I have to admit that thought lives with me day in and day out. I just try not to focus too much on it because it does not do either one of us any good if I do.

Hiking Flattop for the first time.  May 2008

Tomorrow he sees Dr. Rabinowitz ( www.alaskaoncology.com). Sam always has interesting tidbits to tell after he sees the doctor, but it usually takes a couple days for me to get it all out of him.  I am not sure why, but perhaps it's because Sam has to wrap his mind around it all first and then filter it before he tells me.  Who knows...all I know is that it drives me crazy because I want to know now!  I always get a little anxious before each appointment because we do not know what the doctor is going to say.  On the other hand, he has already told us there is really nothing more that can be done at this point unless a clinical trial becomes available.  So Sam just continues taking the Tarceva in hopes that it is doing something.  Even if it is not, I think it is another of those mind over matter situations.

We are headed to Homer for the weekend as I have Monday off in honor of Seward's Day.  One of our favorite places to visit.  Last weekend was the first fishing derby of the season.  We were hoping it was this weekend because we are ready to fish.  Last year we had way too much fun and plan on having even more this year.  I can't wait!

Now I am getting all excited and won't be able to go to sleep thinking about fishing.  How crazy is that?

If only it would warm up a bit.

Ciao!

Being thrown into the fire and getting the thing turned around in a hurry made it more difficult. Things have been done the hard way. I think you learn better when things are done the hard way. John Elway

What a wild and crazy week for my Broncos!  Peyton. Tebow.  Peyton. Tebow. Forget them, I am still mad that Jake Plummer got cut, but I love my Broncos no matter what.  Why in the world the Broncos even drafted Tebow is simply beyond me.  The only reason I can think of is that they truly believe another team would offer to trade up for him before the draft even ended.  It did not happen.  So then they were shocked when they actually had to put him in the lineup and even more shocked when the Broncos won games with him at quarterback.  Notice I did not give Tebow credit for those team wins.  As to Peyton, let's just hope he passes his physical.  If he does, we are good to go, if he doesn't, he should have retired this last year and gone out on top like Elway did. Hopefully this is not another hard lesson to learn.  Give Brady Quinn a chance.  Then again, look how well Kubiak did for himself as backup for Elway.  I have seriously digressed from the purpose of this blog, haven't I?  Moving on...


Sam's blood tests came back with great results.  His hemoglobin is at 14.3, highest the nurse has seen in a long time apparently.  He was really concerned that they were not going to be good and that he would not be able to get his Xgeva injection today.  The injection went well, needless to say.


Instead of going to the shelter, he decided to go downtown and vote early.  We have municipal elections on April 4 and early voting started this past Monday. He completed his civil duty and went in search of somewhere to get new glasses.  Not finding any place which met his criteria (good cheap and fast) he came home, took a nap and had dinner ready for me when I got home.  How great is that?!

Hiking in Seward a few weeks ago.

Oh yeah, he did deal with some more medical bills today.  Work he had done in August and we are just now getting billed for. Drives me nuts.  It is exhausting and extremely frustrating tracking things, making sure things are billed correctly, and then figuring out how we are going to pay the bills. In Anchorage it seems there is one major medical billing company because we deal with them on at least 5 different doctors/clinics/hospitals.  One day I was told that I must contact them before anyone else when Sam passes away.  Now how stupid do they think I am?  I almost started laughing because they will be the last place contacted and since Sam will have no estate for them to continue billing... C'est la vie!  Ok, I guess that was a little bit bitter.


Sam is feeling better today and we both think he has been dehydrated the past few days which added to his issues.  He drank a lot of 7up last night which seemed to really help (mind over matter?) and he definitely had more energy today.  His glands are still swollen, though.  That does concern me as I noted yesterday.  It has been about a year since they last removed cancerous lymph nodes which had moved and grown so much they were bothering him, so it just might be that is what we are facing again.  Then again, it could just be seasonal allergies and he has to suffer along just like the rest of us.

I am really rambling today.


As for me, I won a contest at work today (I never win anything!) and received a signed jersey from the Alaska Aces hockey team.  It is awesome.


Ciao!

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.” – Helen Keller

Today was supposed to be a fairly routine day for Sam - blood tests prior to the Xgeva injection tomorrow, support group, and then maybe even oncology rehab.  Needless to say...it didn't go that way.  He arrived at Providence to get the blood tests and discovered that the prescription for the tests were expired.  Of course, I did not see his text telling me all this and asking for the truck because I am thoroughly enjoying my lunch out with a girlfriend and we've got tons of catching up to do.  Checking my phone is the last thing on my mind. Luckily, he has learned patience, plus the support group was getting started, so he had something to do until I could get there to give him the truck.  He could have taken the bus but in order to get to his doctor's office and back to Providence, the bus truly was not an option.  That all would not have been so bad if we were not still trying to get all the insurance straightened out since he had gone on my insurance at the beginning of the year and also FINALLY signed up with the VA. My company is self-insured so that requires additional pre-authorizations which he has not had to obtain before. Luckily the doctor's office was aware of it due to my lengthy phone calls with the office a month or so ago, trying to get it all straightened out.  After he did all that running around and got the blood tests completed, he then had to get the truck back to me for my very important appointment at 5:00.  He was pretty darn tired, to say the least; however, he was still in a good mood by the time I got home.  How great is that!  Today was a good example of how he spent his days when he was first diagnosed with lung cancer.  We are both very grateful this doesn't happen very often anymore.  Sam wouldn't be able to do it on a continuing basis and I don't have time for it.  We'd be in a jam!

For those of you thinking, "I thought he wasn't supposed to be driving anymore," he is now ok to drive very short distances since he is no longer in chemo or radiation.  Even being able to drive the short distances has given him back a sense of independence and has made a tremendous impact on his spirits.

Chopping wood at Nancy Lake Public Use Cabin #2

Sam has been feeling kind of cruddy the past few days and this morning he did tell me he thinks his glands are swollen because his neck is sore.  When he tells me things like this, I try not to react too much because that drives him crazy.  So, instead, I worry silently, wondering if once again, it is the lymph nodes which are causing the pain, or if it is just a cold or sinus infection he is trying to fend off.  No matter what it is, his body's immune system is definitely not what it used to be which means I need to pay close attention to what it is he is telling me and how he is telling me.  Luckily, he also has an appointment with Dr. Rabinowitz on Friday.

Those Korean shows have finally gotten to Sam.  HA.  He just told me that he probably won't be watching them again for awhile because the series he has been watching became "just too intense."  Wonder what he will find to watch on Netflix now...

It was a beautiful spring day in Anchorage, bright blue skies, warm and the snow is rapidly (relatively speaking) melting.  All day I was wondering...is this it?  Or, is there another big one coming?  I want us to break the record, yet at the same time, I want the snow to be gone gone gone!  Plus, the snow is so very dirty during breakup.  Speaking of breakup, I need to remind Sam to buy our Nenana Ice Classic tickets. Gambling is not allowed in Alaska, so we make do with contests like betting when the tripod is going to break through the ice at Nenana.  It is pretty darn exciting!  http://www.nenanaakiceclassic.com/  Check it out.

Tomorrow is a new day and, I am sure, full of new opportunities.  Sam has his Xgeva injection in the morning, then will probably go to the shelter.  As for me, a couple meetings in the morning and then volunteering with other CIRI employees at the Elders Food Bank in the afternoon.

Ciao!

The future is literally in our hands to mold as we like. But we cannot wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is now. Eleanor Roosevelt

Did I tell you what Sam spent the day doing yesterday?  I had to ask him if he was angry with me about something and he seemed surprised I asked that. He sat in his recliner all day with his headphones on and his iPad propped up watching movies.  Not just any movies, but movies from South Korea, Japan, and I don't know where all, and they required subtitles.  He was transfixed.  On the other hand, it also seemed to wear Rocky and him out so they needed an extra long nap in the afternoon.

Today flew by for me.  Told Sam 'see ya later' about 8:30am and it was non-stop until about 20 minutes ago...just before 8pm!  Did I accomplish anything?  Absolutely. What was it?  That I was able to get away from the cancer ride. I am able to do that each and every day I go to work, or book club, or the gym, or whatever and wherever.  Most of the time I am not even aware that I am pushing "reality" into the background and focusing on other things which require my immediate attention.  But then, there are moments throughout the day when it hits me full force, and interestingly enough, it's usually not something major which creates the reminder, it's something very minute - like standing in the cereal aisle at Fred Meyer looking at Cheerios. Yes, that was me, the sobbing hysterical woman for a few seconds.  No, it didn't happen this trip, but it has happened before.  The thing is, Sam never gets a reprieve.  He lives with it each and every minute of each and every day.  Even those times when we are snowshoeing or hiking or just walking along Chester Creek, he is constantly aware of his situation.  I just can't imagine.

Sam spent a couple hours at the animal shelter today.  He always comes back in good humor.  When I've been with him around animals, they all just gravitate to him.  Last summer we visited the Reindeer Farm in Palmer where there is a bison named Dolly.  The staff warned everyone to stay away from her because her horns alone could hurt someone.  Well, Sam stepped up to the fence, and Dolly stepped up to the other side of the fence, and she fell in love with him.  It was hilarious!  Sam scratched her back and she just rubbed up against the fence loving every minute of it.  The staff was amazed.  I wasn't, although I did get a good laugh out of this huge bison named Dolly trying to get as close as possible to my husband.  Luckily the fence was there otherwise who knows what would have happened!  Anyway, my point is, I think it is as therapeutic for Sam as it is for the animals who all seem to understand that Sam is sick and needs extra love and attention from them. It is truly a wonderful thing to watch.

Tomorrow Sam has blood tests in preparation for the Xgeva infusion which is for the bone metastases. The actual infusion is set for Wednesday.  At about the 10 day mark, Sam sometimes starts to have side effects, chills, fever, chills, fever, which last anywhere from 24-48 hours.  Each time I hope and pray it doesn't happen, but it's always a guessing game.  Another of those, "we just take it when it comes because there's just not much else we can do about it" scenarios.

Today is also the last day of winter.  Thank goodness!  However, Anchorage still needs another 3.2 inches of snow to break the record.  I hope we get it because I do not want to go through another snowy winter like this for a very long time to come. Sam and I both love the snow, yet...this year, we've both had enough of it already!  Here's to a wonderful spring!

Just an FYI, several people have asked if they can send me checks for the 2012 Alaska Clean Air Bike Challenge.  Absolutely.  The check needs to be made out to American Lung Association and can be given to me.  If you need our mailing address, send me a quick email and I will send it to you.  Thank you to all of you who have already donated.  Each day I am getting more and more excited about it!

Ciao!

Failures are made only by those who fail to dare, not by those who dare to fail. Lester B. Pearson

As most of you are aware, Sam has taken some time off from his blogging.  He claims to have gotten bored with it, which, after almost 3 years, does seem rather likely.  Perhaps my blogging will motivate him to start again!

The past 3 months have been almost a blur.  Sam's doing quite well for someone with stage IV lung cancer.  He is not as active as he was, and I don't know if that is a result of the insane amount of snow and cold we've had this winter or because his body is just slowing down.  His positive spirit does remain and for that, I am quite grateful.  My most challenging moments are when he is angry and I need to quickly determine if it's actually me he is angry with or the situation at hand. Or both for that matter.  I am often unsuccessful at figuring it out, just so you know.

Right now, to keep his mind busy, he is studying Japanese.  Yes, you read that right.  Japanese.  He sounds great when I hear him practicing, but then...I know nothing about Japanese, he could just be speaking gobbledygook for all I know.  I admire him for attempting it because I can't say I would do the same.

The animal shelter enjoys his presence a couple times a week.  He's even learned how to groom the dogs, handling the dogs under 40 pounds.  The cancer in his lower back and pelvic area do not allow him to work with the larger dogs anymore.

As for me, life is good.  Just wish the snow would go away.  I am training for the 2012 Alaska Clean Air Bike Challenge, an annual fundraiser for the American Lung Association.  It's a 60 mile bike ride from Houston to Talkeetna on May 12-13.  120 miles round trip.  Here's my webpage for it if you'd like to donate, or perhaps join the team?  http://action.lung.org/goto/daraglass  I'm at about 70% of my fundraising goal, which I am absolutely amazed about!

Chat at ya later!