The future is literally in our hands to mold as we like. But we cannot wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is now. Eleanor Roosevelt

Did I tell you what Sam spent the day doing yesterday?  I had to ask him if he was angry with me about something and he seemed surprised I asked that. He sat in his recliner all day with his headphones on and his iPad propped up watching movies.  Not just any movies, but movies from South Korea, Japan, and I don't know where all, and they required subtitles.  He was transfixed.  On the other hand, it also seemed to wear Rocky and him out so they needed an extra long nap in the afternoon.

Today flew by for me.  Told Sam 'see ya later' about 8:30am and it was non-stop until about 20 minutes ago...just before 8pm!  Did I accomplish anything?  Absolutely. What was it?  That I was able to get away from the cancer ride. I am able to do that each and every day I go to work, or book club, or the gym, or whatever and wherever.  Most of the time I am not even aware that I am pushing "reality" into the background and focusing on other things which require my immediate attention.  But then, there are moments throughout the day when it hits me full force, and interestingly enough, it's usually not something major which creates the reminder, it's something very minute - like standing in the cereal aisle at Fred Meyer looking at Cheerios. Yes, that was me, the sobbing hysterical woman for a few seconds.  No, it didn't happen this trip, but it has happened before.  The thing is, Sam never gets a reprieve.  He lives with it each and every minute of each and every day.  Even those times when we are snowshoeing or hiking or just walking along Chester Creek, he is constantly aware of his situation.  I just can't imagine.

Sam spent a couple hours at the animal shelter today.  He always comes back in good humor.  When I've been with him around animals, they all just gravitate to him.  Last summer we visited the Reindeer Farm in Palmer where there is a bison named Dolly.  The staff warned everyone to stay away from her because her horns alone could hurt someone.  Well, Sam stepped up to the fence, and Dolly stepped up to the other side of the fence, and she fell in love with him.  It was hilarious!  Sam scratched her back and she just rubbed up against the fence loving every minute of it.  The staff was amazed.  I wasn't, although I did get a good laugh out of this huge bison named Dolly trying to get as close as possible to my husband.  Luckily the fence was there otherwise who knows what would have happened!  Anyway, my point is, I think it is as therapeutic for Sam as it is for the animals who all seem to understand that Sam is sick and needs extra love and attention from them. It is truly a wonderful thing to watch.

Tomorrow Sam has blood tests in preparation for the Xgeva infusion which is for the bone metastases. The actual infusion is set for Wednesday.  At about the 10 day mark, Sam sometimes starts to have side effects, chills, fever, chills, fever, which last anywhere from 24-48 hours.  Each time I hope and pray it doesn't happen, but it's always a guessing game.  Another of those, "we just take it when it comes because there's just not much else we can do about it" scenarios.

Today is also the last day of winter.  Thank goodness!  However, Anchorage still needs another 3.2 inches of snow to break the record.  I hope we get it because I do not want to go through another snowy winter like this for a very long time to come. Sam and I both love the snow, yet...this year, we've both had enough of it already!  Here's to a wonderful spring!

Just an FYI, several people have asked if they can send me checks for the 2012 Alaska Clean Air Bike Challenge.  Absolutely.  The check needs to be made out to American Lung Association and can be given to me.  If you need our mailing address, send me a quick email and I will send it to you.  Thank you to all of you who have already donated.  Each day I am getting more and more excited about it!

Ciao!

Failures are made only by those who fail to dare, not by those who dare to fail. Lester B. Pearson

As most of you are aware, Sam has taken some time off from his blogging.  He claims to have gotten bored with it, which, after almost 3 years, does seem rather likely.  Perhaps my blogging will motivate him to start again!

The past 3 months have been almost a blur.  Sam's doing quite well for someone with stage IV lung cancer.  He is not as active as he was, and I don't know if that is a result of the insane amount of snow and cold we've had this winter or because his body is just slowing down.  His positive spirit does remain and for that, I am quite grateful.  My most challenging moments are when he is angry and I need to quickly determine if it's actually me he is angry with or the situation at hand. Or both for that matter.  I am often unsuccessful at figuring it out, just so you know.

Right now, to keep his mind busy, he is studying Japanese.  Yes, you read that right.  Japanese.  He sounds great when I hear him practicing, but then...I know nothing about Japanese, he could just be speaking gobbledygook for all I know.  I admire him for attempting it because I can't say I would do the same.

The animal shelter enjoys his presence a couple times a week.  He's even learned how to groom the dogs, handling the dogs under 40 pounds.  The cancer in his lower back and pelvic area do not allow him to work with the larger dogs anymore.

As for me, life is good.  Just wish the snow would go away.  I am training for the 2012 Alaska Clean Air Bike Challenge, an annual fundraiser for the American Lung Association.  It's a 60 mile bike ride from Houston to Talkeetna on May 12-13.  120 miles round trip.  Here's my webpage for it if you'd like to donate, or perhaps join the team?  http://action.lung.org/goto/daraglass  I'm at about 70% of my fundraising goal, which I am absolutely amazed about!

Chat at ya later!