As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.--John F. Kennedy

Attitude of gratitude.  Just simply being reminded to be grateful brings a smile to my face and a peaceful feeling to my soul.  There are so many things for which I am grateful and I know, without them, I would not be where I am today.  Most of all, I am eternally grateful for my friends and family who are too numerous to mention. Know though, that although I might only see or talk with you once in a great while, each and every one of you have made an impact on my life and for that, I am grateful.

Winner Creek Trail marker at Alyeska

Sam is doing quite well at this point, relatively speaking.  Last weekend we spent at Alyeska, a resort approxmiately 40 miles south of Anchorage.  It is one of our favorite "getaway" spots and it did provide some rest and "cancer free" moments, such as eating at our favorite spot, The Silvertip Grill.  On the other hand, it served as an eye opener for me.  During our past visits, we went on many hikes along the Winner Trail as well as along the multi-user path which goes from the resort to the Seward Highway.  This time, however, we made it about 1/4 mile in on the Winner Creek Trail and Sam hit his max.  I suspected his breathing capabilities were not what they had been, but he refused to really let me know...until I saw it for myself. Going up stairs is a challenge, and it is a very slow process.  Watching him struggle with activities he dearly loves broke my heart; yet because I cannot allow myself to become immersed in the sadness of it all, I literally pushed those thoughts out of my mind. They are there, though, just under the surface.  Here is my energetic, outdoor-loving, athletic husband struggling to do something he used to give me grief for in not being able to keep up with him.  Now, it is the exact opposite (although I do not give him grief, let me be very clear on that.) Today he told me he tries to walk 20 minutes each day in order to keep his circulation going and his muscles from atrophying.

Sam hiking at Alyeska

As for his mood, it is much better and he informed me that the doctor prescribed a low dose of Lexapro for his mood and anxiety issues.  Now I know why things are so much better.  Whatever it takes,  although a win yesterday by his Ducks would have made the world a much better place as well!
However, my Denver Broncos are doing awesome, so all is well in my world!

This past week I spent at two different conferences, the first at the Alaska Chapter of the American Planning Association and the second at the Resource Development Council.  Let me just say...there is a huge difference between the APA's mindset and the RDC's mindset.  For those of you who live in Alaska, I am sure you know what I mean.  I will leave it at that and say no more.

The weather here in Anchorage is getting cold and colder, not much snow, but enough to let us know winter is here.  My sled dog musher friends are grateful for the cold because it provides a more stable environment for practice runs. Alyeska opens for skiing this week, so that will make many others happy, too.  "They" say that we are supposed to have just as much snow this winter as last, however, so far, it does not look like it.  On the other hand, March and April are the snowiest months, so I probably should not get too excited.

In case I do not post before Thursday, to those of you in America, I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

q'ua

We become what we think about all day long. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ralph Waldo Emerson is so right, we do become what we think about all day.  Therefore, I will be thinking of myself as being 5'6" tall and 20 pounds lighter.  That should take care of that.  :)

In two days we will finally know who our president will be for the next four years.  No matter who wins, it is our responsibility and duty as citizens of the United States to do just that, unite behind our president and support him (or her!) and not whine, complain, or degrade our leader.  Vote and be proud of your vote, and if your candidate does not win, support the winner no matter what.  This negative talk must stop or our country will suffer even greater loss.  Remember what Mr. Emerson said..."We become what we think about all day."  Be positive and supportive, we can and must do it if we want to continue to be a global leader.

Sam's ultrasound results came back with nothing abnormal found. We have yet to really discuss it, but for myself, I cannot decide if I am glad or what.  In a way it is good to know there is nothing, yet on the other hand, what are we missing?  It is quite possible the pain is a side effect from the chemo and will slowly disappear over time but, again, it is quite possible the pain is something which needs to be addressed.  A person could go crazy worrying about the what ifs.

Sweet Pea on her lazy Sunday afternoon nap.

With each passing day, Sam's mood does get better.  He is still sleeping a lot and not getting out and about like I think he should be, but I am not the medical expert nor did he ask my opinion (whatever is up with that?)  Last week while on a call with the kids, he described his cancer as having four different parts which I find interesting.  The four parts are:  1) the cancer itself; 2) the side effects; 3) the symptoms; and 4) the mental/emotional issues. Although they are all tied together, separately they seem easier to deal with and to think about.  Just food for thought. During that call I also learned he is taking 3 months off from treatment, will have a CT scan in December or January on his chest/abdomen, and from there will decide what, if anything, will be next.  Apparently there is a clinical trial which he might qualify for which is for those patients who developed a resistance to Tarceva, which includes Sam.  From what I understand, the doctor is trying to get Sam qualified in case he decides he is interested in participating.

As for me, I am feeling much better although the tears seem to flow much easier these days.  I suppose my mind is finally getting wrapped around the state of affairs; or, my thoughts are becoming compartmentalized and I am dealing with life as I normally do.  That statement seems a bit redundant and I am now rambling.  Exercise truly makes a difference and after attending this morning's American Lung Association's breakfast, I now will be training for the Clean Air Challenge bike ride in the spring.  The Ducks, Beavers, Longhorns and Denver Broncos all won this weekend, too, which made it even better! Work is going gang-busters and I still love my job which is awesome and I am very grateful for it.

This week saw much destruction on the east coast and many of our friends and family were, and still are, without power and some are without homes.  Mother Nature has a way of reminding us we are not in control, so if you are not prepared for emergencies, I would recommend you take 30 minutes in the next few days and get yourself prepared.  You just never know when and where that emergency gear will come in handy.

For those of you wondering, the earthquakes in the Queen Charlotte Islands off of British Columbia were not felt in Anchorage.  They are too far away, 893 miles or 1437 kilometers to be exact.  Nor did we experience the tsunami.  Weather wise this week turned out to be a bit boring compared to previous weeks here.

q'ua