Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Gilda Radner

Camping at Ptarmigan Campground

Camping is just around the corner and I am looking forward to it with both dread and anticipation.  Sweet Pea and I did manage to go once in late September last year by ourselves, but since it was a working weekend I was too busy to focus much on the fact that Sam was not with me.  It will be interesting to see how this summer goes.  No matter what, though, Sam's presence will be missed, especially when I have to do EVERYTHING!

This past week was a stark reminder that Sam is gone when I learned about Windows XP no longer being supported on, of course, the last day.  If Sam were here, he would have had it figured out and our laptop taken care of and I would have been almost clueless anything had happened.  As it stands now, depending on how I decided to handle the situation, I will probably have to take a day off from work to upgrade to Windows 7 because I certainly do not want to use my weekends for that!

Earlier this month, my parents and I returned to John Day to celebrate the life of a wonderful man and dear friend to my family.  Being there for the first time since Sam's service was a bit difficult, in fact, more so than I anticipated.  I wish I could put into words the range of emotions I felt over the three days we were there, but it is just too much.

Each day I am recognizing that more than anything, I am changing, becoming a different person than I have ever been before.  The interesting thing is that this change is being brought about not by something I chose, but by something that chose me.  Therefore, I have no idea where this is going to lead me and all I can do is go along for the ride and make the most of it.  People who are grieving are often encouraged not to make any major decisions for the first year and I can certainly understand why.  I have never had a problem with making decisions, and now decisions, no matter how big or small, are major undertakings.  It is exhausting!

Many of you have been asking if I am prepared for my 100 mile bike ride on May 10.  I am training and if all goes according to plan, I will be ready.  The fundraising, though, is going very slow, mostly because I have not been as focused on it as in the past.  So, now is your chance!  Here is the link and please know I greatly appreciate any amount, small or large, as it all makes a difference.  http://action.lung.org/goto/djglass

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